By Darren Starwynn, O.M.D.

This is an excerpt from Darren’s new book “Reclaiming Your Calm Center”, to be published this Spring.

If you work in the medical and healing professions this post is written for you.  It is especially for you if you resonate with this phrase:

“Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.”

That one really spoke to me!

My intent in writing this is to touch and help awaken your remembering of the deeper motivations that drew you into the practice of medicine.  It may also help you make sense of some of the non-normal experiences you have been going through.  Some of what you read here may be outside of your belief systems.  If that is the case I only ask that you consider what is presented, and put it through the test of your own intuition.  If it does not ring true, fuggedaboutit! [i].

Each of us came into our lives with a purpose.  We came with an urge to serve others in a special way.  Take a moment to think back to your childhood now.  Can you remember any thoughts, urges or visions you had back then that started leading you in the direction of the work you are doing now?    Did you ever think about healing or curing people, or relieving suffering in any way?   Were you drawn to seeing past the external pictures of reality presented to you by your parents, teachers or other influencers?

Understanding what’s coming up for you

The science of the soul reveals the truth that we are much more than just a physical body going through a single lifetime.  According to this view the soul essence of most of us has lived through many lifetimes and likely has existed in multiple dimensional realities.  While our expression and activities probably varied greatly throughout our lifetimes our fundamental personality and essence was present through all of them.  There has been a continuous process of learning and gaining needed experiences throughout our lifetimes.[ii]

Some of that accumulated experience has been, well, gnarly, dude.  People who have been drawn to the mind-body healing arts have often suffered persecution at the hands of despots and dogmatic religious leaders.  Healers and helpers have often tried to care for people unpopular with their local rulers, or went against the grain of narrow orthodoxy.  There have been frequent crackdowns and purges of healers, as horribly happened during the European Inquisition.  Women often bore the brunt of persecution, with estimates of at least 50 – 60,000 women being burned at the stake or otherwise murdered for suspicion of witchcraft between the 1400s – 1700’s.[iii]  Some scholars believe that is only a fraction of the real number of women killed for being herbalists, healers or showing signs of being spiritually aware.

So how does all this affect modern medical professionals?  In previous posts I described the “low-grade PTSD” that afflicts most modern people.  I have worked with so many doctors and holistic practitioners who seem to experience this.  Many of us who have spent many incarnations practicing healing arts often hold deep soul memories of the trauma of persecution.[iv]

Much of this innate PTSD remains latent within our subconscious minds and cellular awareness until such time as we commit to expanding our abilities or growing our healing or medical businesses.  Expanding past what may have felt like a limited, safe point of income or empowerment could bring up old, unresolved traumas of the far past.  These could make it feel unsafe to be highly successful in your field.  These feelings could be throwbacks to past lives when public prominence led to ostracism or painful death.

Ever hear about self-sabotage?  Ever do it?  This puzzling behavior may be due to a strong compulsion to avoid reliving old trauma.  Any time you start getting more successful a deep “unsafe” message may come up through your subconscious mind.  It could then orchestrate various ways to make you retreat back to the “safe” levels of lower income and client load.

Doctors and practitioners who wish to prosper by expressing more of their brilliance and innate healing power will need to find a way to feel safer in doing so.  Reclaiming your calm center is your key.  All fear and dysfunction is rooted in a deep sense of disconnection from your spiritual source.  As you cultivate your ability to stay in touch with your calm center throughout your days your confidence and sense of safety will increase.

Mystery schools and spiritual initiation

This is a huge subject that I will briefly summarize.  I am offering it so that you may check within yourself to see if you notice any resonance with these subjects.  If you do it is likely you have been through initiation experiences in the past, or are preparing for one coming your way soon.

In ancient times advanced healers and spiritual teachers were often trained in what were called mystery schools.  There were many of these schools written about in records from ancient Egypt, Greece, Persia, Central America and other places.  Mystery schools were created to safeguard advanced knowledge of healing, spirituality, and the science of consciousness.  This was often needed because there have been forces throughout human history that sought to destroy or dilute this sacred knowledge.  One of the first things military generals would do when they conquered a new land was to burn their libraries.[v]  The mystery school leaders often foresaw this and kept their sacred records in safe places.

Most mystery schools included a process of spiritual initiation.  Most of us think of initiation as rituals done for inducting a new member into a closed group.  Most institutions ranging from violent street gangs to the US Senate to the Catholic priesthood each have their own initiation ceremonies. True spiritual initiation is different from all these.  That is because it is not controlled by people, it comes from spiritual source when the time is right.

Spiritual initiation happens spontaneously when a student has reached a point of readiness and receives the proper support.  According to Alice A. Bailey, author of many well-known metaphysical books in the 1920s and 1930s, initiation is the “process of undergoing an expansion toward higher levels of consciousness.[vi]

I have participated in several schools that could be considered modern mystery schools and have been through some of these spontaneous initiations.  Some of these experiences really rocked my world.  The most dramatically memorable one happened in 1996 while I was attending a workshop at a spiritual school in Montana.  The teacher had been speaking about what she called the “soul merge”, an experience of light rushing all the way from the crown of the head down through the center of the body into the Earth.  I had never felt anything like that (except perhaps while experimenting with drugs), and was curious to know what she was talking about.  During a prolonged and intense workshop session a man came over to me and gave me some coaching about relaxing my body and letting it all happen.  At one point I did felt a surge of energy move through my whole body.  It was both scary and exhilarating.  After that experience I felt more at peace and part of the group.

When I got home to Phoenix, Arizona after that workshop the proverbial s–t really hit the fan.  I was immediately audited by the IRS and my manufacturing company had an impromptu FDA inspection.  I went through some weird health problems and had some strange encounters with several women I was dating at the time.  After about a month or two all of these issues settled and I noticed that my consciousness felt expanded and I was seeing the world differently.  I have never gone back to how I was before that initiation experience.  When I look back on that time it seemed like a whole lot of old negativity was rapidly spinning out of my energy fields – a massive psychic purification.  Yes, even the IRS audit was part of that purification in some weird way.

Some of my Biofield healing clients have spontaneous initiation experiences while they are on my treatment table.  One esthetician from my office and I did a trade of services last year.  I received a scrumptious facial and she received a Biofield Re-Alignment session.  While she was on my table receiving the light transmissions we both became aware of an energy moving from her head down through her entire body.  It was very powerful and after it happened neither of us could talk, we were just basking in the power of the experience.[vii]  She told me later that she felt transformed for a long time after that session.

You can probably imagine why I’m describing spiritual initiation in a chapter for doctors and healers.  It is likely that you have already been through some variation of initiation.  If you did not receive proper guidance and mentorship when these experiences happened to you it is possible that you interpreted them as negative experiences.  You may have thought you were getting sick, going crazy or having an LSD flashback.  While spiritual initiation is a blessed and powerfully beneficial process it can be quite difficult to go through it by yourself. That was one of the major purposes of the mystery schools – to create a safe and guided environment for dedicated students to go through these passages of initiation and expansion of consciousness.

The ultimate purpose of spiritual initiation is to enable you to serve humanity on a higher level of consciousness, love and empowerment.  It takes a whole lot of clarity, humility and self-discipline to rise to the occasion of serving on the higher level of your potential.  A whole lot of your s—t will hit the fan and you will be tested by life to ensure that you can remain in integrity with your higher purpose.  Hey, I never promised you a rose garden!

As you go through the process of initiation and raise your level of consciousness you will find more of your patients experiencing what are often called healing miracles.  You will know that you did not create them. This quote attributed to Jesus explains this point very clearly:

Not my will, but thine be done.  For of myself, I do nothing.  But the Father does all things through me.[viii]

I believe that so many of us enter the medical professions because of promptings from our soul to serve by sharing our innate brilliance.  What often happens is that we get bogged down somewhere along the way by all our responsibilities, financial pressures and the crazy healthcare systems we must work within.  I’m here to say HEY!  Don’t let all that stop you.  You can continue on your path of fulfilling your highest purpose and making your greatest contribution.  There is nothing more exhilarating, rewarding and heart-opening than that, so go for it.

So my doctor and healer friends, there is much more than meets the eye and the rational brain in the path you have chosen.  Or perhaps it has chosen you.  My suggestion is that you don’t go it alone.  Even if you don’t end up in a mystery school please join with others who can support you in your process of evolution and spiritual growth.  Make sure you connect with other professionals you can resonate with on a deep level.  Make it a priority to reclaim your calm center within your every breath.  When all else falls away that is your greatest refuge and comfort.


[i] That is New York slang for “forget about it”.

[ii] For some fascinating research about how we choose what we will learn in each lifetime check out the book Your Soul’s Plan by Robert Schwartz, Frog Books 2007


[iv] For more on this also see Chapter Five, in which I discussed many of the factors that contribute to the “mitote”, or inner negative fog of our minds.

[v] Most recently, this happened during the Iraq war in the early 2000’s.

[vi] Bailey, Alice A. Initiation, Human and Solar New York: 1922, Lucis Publishing

[vii]  By the way, after my facial treatment with her, my face felt like a baby’s skin, also quite noteworthy!

[viii] The Way of Mastery, Shanti Christo Foundation, 2015, page 6  This quote reflects a universal truth, and so is not limited to a Christian belief system.


biofield, healing for doctors, initiation, mystery school

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Leave a Reply
  1. “Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.”
    I am still smiling after reading your blog, ty

    1. Darren Starwynn says:

      I guess you are not feeling so normal either, eh? I’m coming out of the closet of the masquerade and getting my second wind. Good to hear from you, brother. Darren

  2. Really, just, thank you ! These lessons and ideas and truths keep coming back to me around and around, again and again. It’s so lovely to hear from you.

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